I Do, I Do, I Do

A Day in the Life

Good Monday to you all!!  Yes.  I am going to admit it...I am writing this in advance.  I have reasons.  One, you all may have noticed that I have not been posting on the regular.  This is because there is SO MUCH stuff going on that I have just been running out of time.  Also, I know that this weekend is going to be super busy, so I am just planning ahead.  Regardless, I promise to be around more this week!

So, I haven't done a meatless post in a while, and its Monday, so how about that??  

Oh good. 

Because you had a choice....

Anyway...give this a go...

Okra & Chickpea Tagine

Ingredients

1 pound fresh or frozen okra, stem ends trimmed, cut into 1/2-inch pieces

10 sprigs fresh cilantro, plus more leaves for garnish

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

1 red bell pepper, finely diced

1 medium onion, finely diced

3 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper

3 plum tomatoes, diced, or 1 cup drained canned diced tomatoes

1/2 cup vegetable broth, or reduced-sodium chicken broth

3/4 teaspoon ground cumin

1 15-ounce can chickpeas, rinsed

3/4 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon harissa, (see Ingredient Note) or hot sauce, or to taste

Directions

Place a large bowl of ice water next to the stove. Bring a large saucepan of water to a boil. Add okra and cook for 2 minutes. Transfer the okra with a slotted spoon to the ice water. Drain.

Tie cilantro sprigs together with kitchen string.

Heat oil in a tagine dish set over a heat diffuser or a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add bell pepper. Cook, stirring, until soft, 2 to 5 minutes. Transfer to a bowl with a slotted spoon.

Add onion, garlic, ginger and pepper to the pan. Cook, stirring, until the onion is soft, 3 to 6 minutes. Mix in tomatoes, broth, cumin, the okra, cilantro sprigs and half the bell pepper. Reduce heat to medium; partially cover. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the okra is soft, 10 to 15 minutes. Stir in chickpeas and salt; cook for 4 minutes. Remove from the heat; discard the cilantro sprigs. Stir in harissa (or hot sauce). Serve sprinkled with the remaining bell pepper and cilantro leaves, if desired.

Ingredient note: Harissa is a fiery Tunisian chile paste commonly used in North African cooking. Find it at specialty-food stores, mustaphas.com or amazon.com. Harissa in a tube will be much hotter than that in a jar. You can substitute Chinese or Thai chile-garlic sauce for it.

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And some food for thought...

Its a fun day...

Clint Eastwood

I'm not saying you're stoned.

Nope.

You could be drunk.

You could be bored.

You could be like me and just completely exhausted and you're still up and are eating to stay awake.

Whatever.

I am not here to judge you.

But, I mean, regardless.

You're hungry.

Right?

I knew it.

So how about a snack.

And its really easy.

Torpizzas

Ingredients

Flour tortillas - how ever many you need to make as many pizzas as you like

pizza sauce (or if you want to mix it up, salsa...the head it all up to you)

grated cheese (whatever kind you like, mozzarella, cheddar...fit your mood, your sauce, whatever....and on the subject of grated cheese, I recently read that you shouldn't buy pre-shredded cheese from the grocery store because you don't know how long it has been since it was shredded...and I thought about it and yeah, I mean, sometimes my cheese shreds seem a little dry and not agreeable to melting, so I started grating my own and it tastes way better and melts like a champ.  Although, if you are baked/drunk/sleepy, you might want to use a cheese grater with caution...maybe adult supervision is required.)

Toppings...pepperoni, bacon, extra cheese, peppers, onions.  You're the boss.

Directions

Place the tortilla on a plate.  Slather with sauce of choice.  Sprinkle with grated cheese shreds.  Add toppings.  If you can't wait more than a minute to eat, pop it in the microwave for 30 - 45 seconds...until the cheese is melted nicely.  If you have a minute, you can put it in the oven at about 425 degrees F for about ten minutes...or throw it on the barbecue grill for a couple of minutes.  Oh yes.  

Boom.  

Torpizza.

Word.

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Choke on this...

Enid

FUCK YEAH!!  I love it when I remember music I forgot about...you know, like I was saying the other day?  Its so wonderful...just in time for me to get completely sick of the mix I had going on!  

Anyway...I promised it would be back and it is...

So, the weather has still been pretty amazing, so I'm not bitching about that...no, no.  Let me tell you what the fucking beautiful weather has done to me...it makes me enjoy being outdoors.  And that's all fine and well.  That isn't the problem.  The problem is I AM NOT FUCKING SLEEPING.  AGAIN.  I mean, really?  Really?

I guess so, yes really.  

Fuck.  

And really, if you aren't sleeping, that pretty much fucks up the rest of your world.  Because you get all punchy and cranky.

Anyway.  

Also, I'm kind of irritated that I still don't have as much time in the day as I need to get everything done and then have time to do the things I want to do AND get enough sleep.  

That is just asking WAAAAAY too much.

And now for something yummy...

Hazelnut Truffles

Ingredients

3 dozen hazelnuts

1 cup (6 ounces) semisweet chocolate morsels

3 tablespoons whipping cream

1 teaspoon hazelnut liqueur

1 (6-ounce) package white chocolate baking squares

2 (2-ounce) chocolate candy coating squares

Directions

Bake hazelnuts in a shallow pan at 350°, stirring occasionally, 5 to 10 minutes or until toasted.

Microwave morsels and whipping cream in a 2-cup glass measuring cup at HIGH 1 1/2 minutes or until morsels melt, stirring twice. Stir in liqueur. Pour into a wax paper-lined 15- x 10-inch jellyroll pan; freeze 2 hours or until firm to touch.

Shape 1/2 teaspoon chocolate mixture around each hazelnut, coating completely, and place on wax paper.

Microwave white chocolate baking squares in a 1-quart microwave-safe bowl at HIGH 1 1/2 minutes or until melted, stirring twice. Coat plastic candy molds with a thin layer of white chocolate using a small paintbrush; let stand 1 hour or until firm. Place coated hazelnuts in molds; brush with remaining white chocolate, sealing to edges of molds. Let stand at room temperature 1 1/2 hours or until firm.

Invert molds; tap firmly on cutting board to remove candy.

Microwave coating in a 1-cup glass measuring cup 1 minute or until melted, stirring once. Pour into a small heavy-duty zip-top plastic bag; seal. Snip a tiny hole in 1 corner of bag; drizzle over truffles. Let stand until firm.

Ok, now please, PLEASE, for all that is good and right with the world...somebody complain about something.  Anything.  I feel so all alone.

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And now some food for thought...

'Cause couches can be bitches.

Throwback Thursday

So, I think that I have made it pretty clear that I am all kinds of busy right now...but I want to keep posting!  I am just not all that creative.  So.  I am introducing Throwback Thursday we we will look at past posts - maybe some of them deserve some more attention, maybe some are just so awesome they need to be looked at again, and maybe I'm just lazy.  

Whatever.

This first throwback post is pretty recent.  And I really think enough people didn't see it when it posted, but over the past month or so, it has been one of the most viewed posts!!  So, did you see it?  If you didn't, here is your chance!!

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Guest Post

Hello and welcome to cooking with me. I don't often make a complete meal, and I won't be making a complete meal today either. I'll do my part, and you finish it if you want. It's not like many people have a complete breakfast, so, just make it and stuff the fucking thing in your mouth.

Parmesan Eggs

I make just one egg, I like to save them so they don't have to be bought as often, but you can make as many as you want. You can scramble them or you can fry them, the only important thing is that you add a pinch or two of salt and a generous amount of Parmesan cheese before putting them on heat.

If you don't have an un-cracked egg seasoning tool lying around, well it sucks to be you. You might as well just stop salivating over my delicious eggs right now and give up like a whiny baby. Or, you could crack the egg into a bowl while you heat your pan with oil/butter/whatever you use to make sure your egg doesn't stick like a clingy ex-girlfriend.

Cool, we're halfway done. Now you pour that Parmesan and salt seasoned egg into a pan and cook that bitch just how you like it. I don't know how it is that you like it, so you just go ahead and figure that out on your own. But while it cooks make sure to add more Parmesan. We don't want all the good stuff to be in the egg, do we? No, we need something visually pleasing on the outside. 

Almost done? Good. Now if you're making this for someone else, or you want to trick yourself into believing you could be a chef, sprinkle a little parsley on it. Just a dash, about as much as any female respect left on a common rap song. It'll make it look all nice and whatever. You know. Stuff.

No, we're not leaving it at just the eggs.

I like me some bagels. They're filling and nice and such, go really well with eggs too. I could just tell you to add bagels, but I've noticed something terrible. Not enough people use jelly on their bagels.

I understand why, too. It's because most people look like fucking idiots when getting the substance out of the jar and onto the round surface. Let's just do this.

How to put jelly on a bagel

without looking stupid as fuck

First, get your desired jelly, or jam, or whatever. It's jiggly fruit that goes on bread, find it at your local supermarket.

Second, grab a spoon. Don't go for the knife, that's the reason you look like FUPAweed at a razor party. Just grab a spoon, and realize you've been thinking of it the wrong way your whole life. The spoon isn't this one thing you put in your mouth, it has two sides. Two.

Scoop a bit of jelly on your spoon, pour it onto the bagel, flip it around, and with the shallow face looking away from the bagel, spread it around as if it were a knife. Don't you feel like a genius now? Yeah well, you're welcome.

If you don't have spoons, you can also put a knife in the jar, mash it against the side of the jar, and spread it like a normal, semi-liquid substance. But then if you don't have a spoon, I should be telling you about a soup recipe for you not to make.

Here's the result.

If it's a little blurry, you should get your eyes checked. And if it doesn't look that amazing, it's alright. It's obviously because I didn't put a fork on it. That too has an explanation. You see, I'm a man. So when I'm presented with an egg and a bagel cut down the middle, I lift the egg, put it on the bagel, sandwich it, and proceed to eat it with the very same spoon I used to put jelly on the bagels.

This was great fun guys. I want you all to know that I'm actually an alright human being when I'm not telling you to fuck off, and that you should have jelly with your eggs more often. It tastes delicious.

Eat some breakfast.

  -  D4

Tall Cool One

Ever forgot about a song that you loved and then you hear it again and you're all happy???  The above song does that for me!  And its kind of cool, because today we unveil the winner of the cookie naming contest!!  (Can you guess who won already??)  

So our winner is a favorite among you all.  I mean, he HAS to be!!  Now, I know what you are thinking...the poll didn't work, so how do I know who the winner is?  Well, its easy.  I used the Force.  It lead me to this entry as the winner.  And seriously, its all kinds of awesome!

And the winner is...Fran The Angry Lurker!!  Honestly, if for some crazy insane reason you don't know who he is, you really must do yourself a favor and go visit his place.  Skillz.  This guy has got them.  And holy hell, I know what kind of shit I am going to get for not mentioning Ray too, so go see him.  Another dude with some serious skillz!  (I'm not entirely sure, but I am pretty sure you can't have one without the other...)

And I give you:

Angry Biscuits

Ingredients

1 1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup white sugar
1 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
3 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup chopped pecans
3/4 cup butterscotch chips

Directions 
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F .
Cream together the butter, white sugar, and brown sugar until smooth. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Dissolve baking soda in hot water. Add to batter along with salt. Stir in flour, chocolate chips, and nuts. Drop by large spoonfuls onto ungreased pans.
Bake for about 10 minutes in the preheated oven, or until edges are nicely browned.

So yes, essentially chocolate chip cookies with nuts, extra butter and butterscotch chips.  Those little tweaks make a huge difference!!

And now Fran wins bragging rights!  And maybe one of these days, when time permits, I will make some more and send them to him!!

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And some appropriate food for thought...

Mother, Mother

So, happy mother's day to all the mamas out there!  I am still waiting for my breakfast.  I'm sure its coming right up.

Right?

Well, its kind of a bittersweet day for me.  I have my reasons.  And they are good.  The fact of the matter is that I should have one more baby in this world, and this should have been her second mother's day with me. And yes, I know that I have two children who are here, and I love the hell out of them and appreciate every moment I have with them (can I tell you how much I HATE when people tell me that I shouldn't worry about the one that I lost and just focus on the two that I have and be thankful for them?  I would never wish this entire experience I have been through upon anyone, but I wish that for just a moment they could feel the pain that it brings and understand where I am coming from.  It is because of those two amazing kids that I miss her and what she would have become so much.  They are the most amazing creatures, so it stands to reason that she would have been too.)

So to all the mothers out there who have kids, have lost a kid, lost their mother, grandmother, can't be with their kids...whatever...I wish you all kinds of love and positivity today.  Happy Mother's Day.

So, remember all the mothers today, and show them some love.

And think about making these for one of them or something...

Buttermilk Creams with Strawberries

Ingredients

1 1/4 teaspoons unflavored gelatin (from a 1/4-ounce envelope)

3/4 cup sugar

1 cup low-fat buttermilk

1 1/2 cups heavy cream

1 pound strawberries, hulled and quartered

1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice

Directions

In a small saucepan, sprinkle gelatin over 3 tablespoons cold water. Let stand until softened, about 5 minutes. Heat over low, stirring, until gelatin has dissolved, about 30 seconds.

In a large bowl, whisk 1/4 cup sugar with buttermilk until dissolved. Whisking constantly, add gelatin mixture in a very thin stream. In another large bowl, beat cream and 1/4 cup sugar until soft peaks form.

With a rubber spatula, gently stir half of whipped cream into buttermilk mixture; fold in remaining whipped cream. Divide among eight 6-ounce ramekins. Refrigerate until set, at least 6 hours (or up to 1 day, covered with plastic wrap).

When ready to serve, toss strawberries with 1/4 cup sugar, lemon juice, and 1 tablespoon water. Let stand until juicy, about 5 minutes. Run a paring knife around edge of each ramekin and dip each briefly in steaming hot water; invert buttermilk creams onto serving plates and top with strawberries.

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And now some food for though...

Yikes.  Yeah...I'd pass on that...